


Slice of Life

by Puffinmaster246



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humanstuck, M/M, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rating May Change, im trying to keep ships to a minimum in this but they will be present, title may change
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-18
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-25 04:31:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16654300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puffinmaster246/pseuds/Puffinmaster246
Summary: Various one-shots depicting the home lives of the betas





	Slice of Life

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! I'm going to try to make this a series but I can't guarantee that the chapters will come out in an orderly fashion.  
> Ramiro = Summoner  
> Vriska's mom/Archana = Mindfang  
> The Nitrams are Mexican and the Serkets are ethnically Hindu but culturally French  
> The johnvris is subtle

Eight thirty. It was eight fucking thirty on a Saturday morning. Why on God’s green earth did they have to move at eight thirty? It was bad enough that they had to move in the first place. Vriska didn’t really see the point at all. The engagement screwed a number of things up, in terms of wedding planning and selling the house and having to listen to Tavros talk about his dumb Pokemon cards, but why did they have to move? Their house was perfectly fine! If her mom wanted Ramiro and his kids to live with them they could’ve just moved in with them, they had a guest bedroom for Tavros, and Rufioh was staying in a dorm just like Aranea was. Hell, Tavros could just have Aranea’s old room!

Of course, things had to be hard. It’s a new start, Vriska. Moving will be good for our new family, her mom would say. Yeah right. She didn’t even ask Vriska if it was okay with her. There was no “Oh, by the way, Vris, Ramiro proposed to me is it alright with you if we get married and totally change everything about your life?” She was sick of it. And Aranea wasn’t even mad. Aranea, her own sister, likes the change, she likes Ramiro. Vriska feels like the only person within a 30 mile radius that’s actually thinking about what this means for everything. But no. She gets no say because she’s the youngest and she’s not the one in love and she’s not the one paying the bills. So now she’s stuck in this way-too-full car as Ramiro drives to their house with the moving van following after them.

At least the house isn’t ugly, Vriska thinks. She wouldn’t admit it to herself, and certainly not to anyone else, but the new house definitely looks nicer than the last. It’s a lot homier, with Spanish-tile roofing and a big yard. Even the paint on the walls looks more inviting than the dull brick on her last house. It actually kind of looks like the pictures of Tavros’s family’s house back in Mexico, just a lot bigger and definitely more expensive. The Nitram’s dog barks, and Vriska is suddenly reminded of who she’s here with. “Silencio, Toro. You just saw the moving guys today you don’t need to bark at them again.” Vriska rolls her eyes. The sound of Tavros’s voice is pissing her off today. That’s new. Usually it’s what he’s saying, not how he’s saying it.

“You know if you trained the thing it would be too scared to bark, and then we wouldn’t have to subject everyone else in the neighborhood to this ungodly hour of day,” Vriska remarked. She was just trying to get a rise out of Tavros, and he probably knew, but he took the bait anyway. 

“He is trained, Vris. He’s just trying to make sure the scary guys dont hurt us, isn’t that right Toro?” Tavros cooed at the dog. “And you don’t even have a dog, so uh, maybe don’t act like you know everything.” 

Jesus Christ. Of course he’d say that. Of course of course of course of course. That obnoxious fake confidence. Vriska retaliated, “Wow, Tavvy! You almost made it through a whole sentence without saying ‘uh.’ This one’s going in the memory book for sure. I can’t wait to tell Rufioh how much you’ve grown up,” Tavros rolled his eyes and followed his brother inside. Aranea looked at Vriska disappointedly. It was a good thing she was tired, or she would’ve chewed Vriska’s ear off about being nicer.

The inside of the house was debatably neater than the outside. Light-colored walls, polished wood flooring, neat trim around the doors and windows. It was sickenly boring. It looked like the kind of house you’d find on some million-dollar website; a house you wish you lived in but could never imagine yourself actually living in. It was almost like she was on the set for a lifetime movie, not standing in her own house. Her own room was okay, though. It didn’t have a secret staircase in the closet leading up to the attic like in her last house, but Vriska never used that anymore anyway. A peek into the bathroom had her stopping dead in her tracks. Oh no. Absolutely not. The rooms were Jack and Jill, connected with a bathroom. There was no fucking way she was going to share a bathroom with Lobster Tavrioli. He stinks and he takes forever in the shower and he probably gets his facial hair all over the sink when he shaves. Not to mention that stupid dog is attached to him at the hip and will most definitely get it’s stupid ugly fur all over the floor. 

No. Vriska wasn’t going to let this slide. She could put up with a lot of bullshit, but this was too much. She already had to share a house with Tavros. She already had to share a mom with him. She was not going to share a bathroom with him too. Bathrooms were private and Vriska was getting really sick of sharing. What would they share next, her diary? Her social security number? No. She would have a say in this. 

And with that, she marched down the stairs to exercise her greatest strength: complaining. Her mom wasn’t anywhere on the first floor, so Vriska looked upstairs, too. No dice. Where was that woman? She couldn’t have possibly left for work already. They all just got home! No matter, Vris thought, I’ll just talk to Ramiro about it. Ramiro had unpacked the coffee maker first and was currently on his second cup. He looked a lot like Tavros, but even more like Rufioh, just without the bright red hair. He wasn’t too tall, since you can only be so big as a pilot, but he was definitely not a short man. His hair was never tame, but it was especially wild this morning. Vriska could tell he’d brushed it, but it was almost permanently stuck in a wild shape no matter what he did to it. 

“Hola, Vris. How’s the house? ¿Te gusta, si?” He spoke a lot of Spanish. It wasn’t terribly hard to understand if you just used context clues, but she still wished he’d speak in English. 

“It’s okay, I guess. I still don’t understand why we couldn’t have just stayed at our house.” This was her chance to bring up the bathrooms, but Ramiro beat her to it. 

“Lo siento about your room, chica. We figured the, ah, close-ness of your room to Tav’s would help you two get along better.”  
Get along better? He seriously thought that? They hated each other! If anything this was just a sure way to get Tavros murdered!  
“I know you think he’s annoying, and he thinks you’re, uh, what’s the word… he thinks you’re espantoso, you know the word?” Vriska didn’t, but she was pretty sure it didn’t mean charming. “But me and your mother talked about it and we think it’ll ultimately be good for you.”

Vriska was furious. Had this been a cartoon, her ears would’ve filled the room with smoke. How could they possibly know what was good for her? None of this has been good for her. If fact, it’s only been getting worse! She wanted to throw something at him! 

Unfortunately, she didn’t get that far, because Ramiro had picked up on her anger. “Cálmate, chica. Calm down. We’re not saying it’s permanent. Just think about it, okay?”

It wasn’t okay, not at all, but she surrendered and retreated back to her room. After digging through a few boxes, she retrieved her laptop and opened it up. There wasn’t much to greet her, just a few pictures from her friend Terezi and meaningless taunts from Aradia. Vriska made a call. “Hey.” It didn’t take him long to reply.

“Hi Vris! What’s up?”

“I just moved in with Tav,” she responded. 

“Damn really? Isn’t it sort of early to be moving?”

“Yes. It’s ridiculous. But that’s not what’s bad about it.”

“Oh no…”  
“I have to share a bathroom with him!”

“Really? That’s a little weird.” He didn’t sound very serious. 

“A little weird? It’s insane, John!” Vriska responded a little more aggressively than she meant to. 

“Yeah…”

“I tried to get Ramiro to move Tavros but he said that ‘it will be good for you!’ Stupid, right?” She put on a silly accent to imitate Ramiro. 

“Well… maybe not. I mean you guys are gonna have to learn to get along. You live in the same house.”

Vriska couldn’t believe her ears. John was siding with them? John, the same boy that stayed up with her all night to calm her down when Aranea left for college, had just become the enemy. John responded fast.

“Why is it so bad anyway?”

Why was it so bad? Why was it so bad? Vriska was on fire. 

“Because he stinks, John! He’s gonna get his hair in the shower drain and there’s gonna be water all over the floor and he’s going to leave the seat up and he’s going to get his stupid facial hair all over the counter! Plus he’s a boy. I can’t share a bathroom with a boy!”

“Jeez… how do you know he’s going to make a mess?”

“Because that’s just how my life works, John,” she responded.  
She sighed. She’s always been unlucky. Ever since that accident with Aradia, she’s learned to just expect bad things. 

“I think Tavros is kinda cool! I mean he’s pretty cheesy but he’s kinda funny to listen to.”

You're sure one to talk, Vriska thought. 

“Is your life really that shitty?” John asked. “You always seem so carefree.”

“I mean I guess it’s not that bad. It’s not like I’m homeless. It’s just… Everything’s changing so fast. I don’t know if I can keep up.”

“What do you mean?” he asked. Vriska thought about how to put it into words. 

“Well Aranea moved out, which I thought was going to be scary and weird, but she actually visits a lot so that’s okay. But then mom got engaged and now we’ve got a new house. And I’m going to have two brothers once she gets married, and a dad, which I’ve never had before.”

“It sounds like you’re scared.” He didn’t say it to mock her, he was being sincere. 

“I guess I am,” Vriska admitted. “I don’t want to grow up yet. I don’t want my mom to settle down. I want Aranea to be here. I want things to be how they used to.”

“I know.”

The two kids were silent for a moment. “Thanks, John. Sorry for yelling at you, I just really needed to get all that out, I think.”

“Anytime, Vris. I’ll be cheering you on!”

She hung up. John was probably right. There wasn’t much she could do in this situation. Sometimes you need to grow up. I should apologize to Ramiro, she said to herself, walking back downstairs to look around a little. She checked the kitchen, and then the rest of the house, but she couldn’t find him. She hesitantly walked over to Tavros. He must’ve let Toro outside when they got home, because he was just coming back in. “Do you know where Ramiro is?”

Tavros jumped. He hadn’t noticed her. “Oh, uh, I think he went to get, um, milk.” 

Great. If she didn’t tell him now she might not be able to later. “Can you tell him I’m sorry, and that I’ll try? I don’t have his phone number.”

Tavros looked confused, but complied. He sent his dad a text and gave Vriska the thumbs up. 

“Thanks, Park Tavenue.”

“Sure thing.”

That interaction wasn’t so bad, she guessed. She felt a little better after apologizing to Ramiro, too. Before Tavros could escape, Vriska spoke again, “Hey, Tav?” He looked like he would do anything to be away from her.

“Yeah?”

“Have you finished unpacking?” 

“Um… yes. Why?” He looked at her skeptically.

“Perfect! Do you think you could help me unpack?” She batted her eyelashes and smiled for effect. Tavros wasn’t charmed in the slightest, but he complied to her request. Once upstairs, Tavros gaped at the mess of Vriska’s room.

“Did you unpack anything?” He asked incredulously. 

“Of course I did,” Vris scoffed. “Leg-olas is right there.” Vris pointed to the tarantula terrarium on the floor by the wall.

“Great,” Tavros responded sarcastically. “Well we can’t put up a lot of stuff until papá  
gets the furniture in here but we can put your clothes in the closet I guess.”

“Great! My clothes are in those,” Vris pointed to the boxes in question before getting on her phone.

“Um, no, you’re going to help me unpack,” Tavros said “They’re your clothes.” Vriska scowled.

“Fine,” she huffed. “But you have to throw all the boxes out when we’re done.” Tavros seemed pleased with the compromise and the two got to work. Boxes piled up by the door as clothes were hung up and bathroom supplied were organized into their respective drawers. Ramiro helped them get the bedframe, gaming table, and dresser into her room so that she could finish with everything else. Leg-olas went up on the dresser and her computer was set up on the table. By the time everyone’s bedrooms and the living room were finished being put together Vriska’s mom returned with groceries. Once they were put in their respective cabinets and shelves Aranea and Rufioh said their goodbyes and went back to their dorms. 

Vris, Tavros, and Vris’s mother collapsed on the couch while Ramiro got to work on dinner. Vris’s mother hadn’t removed her work clothes yet, but she set her shoes and tie by the coffee table before testing out the TV. “What’s papá making?” Tavros mustered up the courage to ask.

“Nothing fancy, probably. He seemed tired when I got home,” Vris’s mother responded with a yawn. She sounded like Aranea with a subtle pinch of a French accent, but looked like a darker-skinned Vriska. She still looked young for 46, and Vriska had the feeling she’d probably be able to pull off the pencil skirt well into her fifties. “I think he and I will probably head to bed when dinner is finished. You two shouldn’t stay up too late, either.” Tavros responded with a “yes ma’am” and Vris with an “okay.” Ramiro brought in their dinner and the four ate in relative exhaustion-induced silence.

“I’m going to bed,” Ramiro said after clearing his plate. “Join me when you’re ready, Archana.” He stood up. “Oh, y chicos, you can put your dishes in the sink. I’ll use the, uh…” He trailed off, only to have his sentence picked back up by Vriska’s mom.  
“Dishwasher, mon souffle,” she said with an amused smirk. Vriska rolled her eyes at the pet name.

“Dishwasher, yes! Gracias, mi bella. You two can put your dishes in the sink and I’ll put them in the dishwasher mañana.” Ramiro finished. He and Vris’s mom went up to bed, followed closely by Toro, leaving Tavros and Vriska alone downstairs.  
“I guess I’ll go to bed,” Tavros said awkwardly, picking up his plate. Vriska followed him into the kitchen and caught his arm before he went back upstairs to his room. Tavros looked at her quizzically. 

“I just wanted to say… thanks. For not being an unbearable pansy, I mean. And helping me unpack my stuff, I guess.”  
“Sure, Vris. Thanks for not yelling at me today. You’re cool to hang out with when you’re not a um, well when you’re not super mean to me.”

“Don’t ruin the moment, Tavvy,” Vriska smiled.

“Sorry, Vris,” Tavros smiled back. “Goodnight.”

“Goodnight.”

**Author's Note:**

> Whoo! Finally got it done!  
> Sorry if any of the Spanish is wrong, I'm not fluent. If there are better ways to word the Spanish or it's wrong in some way please let me know!  
> The next chapter will probably be Eridan or John but who knows I might get the inspiration to choose someone else!


End file.
